This past weekend, I spent my time tending to my youngest son as he battled a fever. There were moments of restless sleep, cool eucalyptus baths to bring his temperature down, changing and washing linen because he couldn’t keep his food down, and quiet sacrifices of my own comfort to ensure he was cared for. He’s not the type to want constant attention when he’s unwell. He just wants you to make him comfortable and let him be. So, I did exactly that.
As I moved through the motions of caring for him, something settled in my heart: Nurturing is one of the most powerful forces in the world, yet it’s one we rarely stop to acknowledge. It is the quiet language of love that doesn’t need permission to act. It is the strength to stay when exhaustion begs you to step away. It is the patience to wait, the wisdom to know when to hold on, and when to give space.
“A mother’s nurturing is the first love language we ever learn, the one that teaches us what it means to be held, protected, and deeply known.”
We often underestimate the word nurture. It sounds soft, delicate, almost passive. But true nurturing? It is a force. A presence. A quiet revolution of love that shapes lives in ways words never could.
Nurturing Is More Than Care: It’s Love in Action
Many believe nurturing is reserved for mothers and caregivers, but in reality, it is the heartbeat of every deep connection. It is found in friendships that stand the test of time, in relationships that feel like home, and even in the way we tend to our own souls.
Nurturing is:
- The friend who senses your silence and checks in without needing an explanation.
- The partner who pays attention to the things that bring you joy and makes space for them.
- The mentor who sees your potential and speaks life into you before you even believe in yourself.
- The teacher who recognizes when a child needs patience more than correction.
- The stranger who offers kindness with no expectation of return.
At its core, nurturing is a form of love that expects nothing but gives everything. It does not demand recognition. It does not seek validation. It simply is… an offering of care, of comfort, of presence.
The Strength in Softness
We live in a world that often confuses gentleness with weakness. It glorifies resilience in the form of endurance but forgets that nurturing is a strength all on its own.
To nurture is to see beyond the surface, to recognize a need, to tend to it, to pour love into a space where it is missing. It is a quiet form of strength that does not need to prove itself.
In caring for my son, I was reminded that nurturing is not just about physical care, it is about presence. Just like a garden does not flourish with water alone, people do not thrive on basic needs being met. We need to be seen, tended to, and held in spaces where we can safely unravel and rebuild.
Nurturing as a Form of Healing
Many of us did not grow up in environments that nurtured our emotions. I know this deeply because I was one of them.
I grew up in foster care (group homes to be exact), where survival was the focus, and resilience was the only way to make it through. Nurturing was obsolete, it wasn’t encouraged, it wasn’t given, and it certainly wasn’t something I was taught to seek. I was raised in an environment where emotions were secondary to endurance, where being strong meant pushing through, not pausing to be cared for. Where my gifts weren’t nurtured nor developed because I was forced to believe that I had no value.
I learned how to be tough, how to guard my heart, and how to move through life without expecting softness. But what I didn’t realize was that true strength isn’t just about surviving, it’s about allowing yourself to receive love. When I aged out of the system at 19, stepping into my own independence, shedding the hard shell I had built to protect myself wasn’t easy. Yet, it was through placing myself in environments that felt safe, surrounding myself with people who poured into me, and offering myself grace and patience that I began to receive the nurturing I had long been without. And in that, I didn’t just survive… I evolved.
Nurturing, when you’ve never truly experienced it, can feel foreign at first. But I’ve come to learn that healing begins in safe spaces, the ones that allow you to soften, to rest, to be seen without judgment. When someone tends to you in a moment of weakness or vulnerability, when they see beyond what you say and pour into what you feel, something shifts inside of you.
Healing often begins with being nurtured. And for many of us, it’s a process of learning that we are worthy of the love we never received.
In an excerpt of the New York Times bestselling book “Lighter”, author, Yung Pueblo, tells us: “Healing will not only improve your life, but it will open the door for good things to come to you because the quality of your mind determines the quality of your life.”
You can read more on Healing by visiting my blog, “Healing: Seeing Life Through a New Lens.”
The Many Forms of Nurturing
We are all nurtured in different ways, and sometimes we fail to recognize it for what it is.
“Nurturing is not just an act, it is a gift, a language, a way of being.”
Emotional Nurturing
This is the kind of love that holds space for you. The friend who listens without judgment. The hug that lets you exhale. The words that remind you that you are not alone.
Spiritual Nurturing
The moments of stillness that bring peace. The prayers whispered in the quiet. The guidance that reassures you that there is something greater at work in your life.
Mental Nurturing
Encouragement that feeds your mind. The person who believes in your potential. The challenges that stretch you, but never break you.
Self-Nurturing
The love we forget to give ourselves. The boundaries we set to protect our peace. The permission to rest without guilt.
We often look for love in grand expressions, but sometimes, love is simply the way we are cared for in the smallest, quietest ways.
You Are Worthy of Nurturing
As you go through today, I hope you recognize the ways you have been nurtured. The gentle hands that have lifted you, the words that have soothed your soul, the quiet moments where love met you exactly where you were.
And I hope you also remember to nurture yourself.
- Tend to your heart the way you would a dear friend.
- Speak to yourself with kindness.
- Give yourself grace in the spaces that still need healing.
- Rest when your soul asks for it.
- Love yourself the way you deserve to be loved.
Because in the end, nurturing is not just about what we give to others, it is about the love we allow ourselves to receive.
And that, in itself, is a beautiful thing.
“A life well-nurtured is a life well-lived.”
Final Thoughts
You pour into everyone.
You give, you care, you nurture.
But when was the last time you nurtured yourself?
Because the truth is, you need what you give to others. You need rest. You need kindness. You need space to unravel, to be cared for, to be seen.
So today, give yourself what you so freely offer the world. Nurture yourself. You deserve it.
If this message resonated with you, I’d love to hear how nurturing has shown up in your life. Let’s discuss in the comments or share this with someone who needs a reminder of just how powerful love in action truly is.
6 Responses
Excellent narrative of what we don’t have enough of these days. Thank you for writing this exemplary and reflective piece that helps all of us to become better people by not looking after our own interests, but the interests of others. We’d have a better world, if others had been nurtured earlier.
You’re absolutely right Edward. When nurturing starts early in life it provides you with a sense of security, worth, and makes it easier to thrive as you get older. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and kind words.
Thank you for reminding others that nurturing is a strength that many overlook.
Thank you Joya for sharing. The benefits of nurturing is definitely underestimated.
I had to learn how to nurture myself and be nurtured by others because it wasn’t in my mother to do when I was a child. But I knew that it was missing in my life and I refused to pass that on to my daughter. It’s so important to pour into our children and each other. And often.
It seems as though we had a similar experience with a lack of nurturing as a child, but didn’t let it dictate how nurturing we became as mothers. I love that for the both of us and most importantly for the children we are raising. Thank you for sharing, Mika.